And so we watch and so we learn/With eyes wide for our dreams to yearn

Posts tagged ‘people’

A Study in Friendship

Some people may be asking; ‘Why don’t you write about any of people in your life on this blog? You certainly talk about yourself a lot.’ Well dear imaginary inquisitor, a) many of my friends know about this blog b) it’s rude and weird to discuss them on a public forum and c) petty opinions and gossip aren’t worth the screen space.

That being said, I have some really awesome friends. I’ve been privileged enough to make a lot of them, although keeping in contact with the non-English speaking ones has been more difficult than I anticipated. [Shoutout to them; ¡Perdón! Estoy escribiendo cartas a mandaros.] And, what with the combination of a writer’s and a student’s curiosity, I find my friends rather fascinating. Because I’ve known some of them for years, it’s actually fantastic, watching them grow. Watching new interactions and reactions at certain changes in our lives. Fathoming those who I don’t quite understand. Which makes me sound really creepy, but I’m not, honest 😛 Everyone’s different little idiosyncrasies make for fascinating character study – it also means I have to be careful not to personify them in my writing, which is harder than it sounds!

And everyone is so diverse. Dealing with anxiety, dealing with boy drama, dealing with not meeting the asian standard for school. Extroverts and introverts, discussing sexuality or playing toddlers, or debating with pomp and grandeur ridiculously opposing opinions on something entirely bizarre and useless. They way people circulate, react or behave around others, think about how deeply that’s influenced by their home life, their origins.

I flatly refuse to give examples that are specific enough for identification, but let me just say how awesome it is, how different we all are. Gruff girls who are secretly romantic softies but don’t you dare say so in public 😉 Arrogant boys who are insecure, and then watching some of them strengthen. Or when the nuances of a friends grey moral policing is explained. Hearing other people’s incredibly divergent childhoods, in London or rural south america or slums of poverty. Or, what about the concepts that hold weight in their decision making – I know friends who have spent their life as the smartest kid in their town, another who doesn’t know the meaning of hope – or can you imagine living life without any sense of security? Growing up being told that a fundamental part of you was wrong. Or having an incredible aptitude for art or guitar, that they always had. Or someone who’s core values were so opposed to mine that we spent a year arguing, a year banging heads until both of us learnt and changed drastically. Watching little ones grow from babbling toddlers to serious pre-teens.

People are fascinating. My friends are intriguingly wonderful. And I hope that compliment is huge enough so that they don’t mind my curiosities! 😄

What Do You Speak, & Why?

There’s a cliche going around on the Internet, things like ‘I Speak Fandom/Hipster/Gallifreyan/Elvish’ etc. Building off that, I think I’ll take the liberty to add some personal observations of my own:

As well as Fandom, I speak, to my level of learning: spanish, biology, chemistry, sociology, mythology, literature, art and some forms of technobabble…
I have also found that I can speak travel enthusiast, mature light conversationalist, teenager and 5 year old child. 😛
I can speak calculatingly, flirtatiously, quietly, brashly, argumentatively, wisely, considerately, engagingly, with a large variety of people from very many walks of life.

And yet, somehow I barely understand australian.
My hindi is better than my bogan.
And I do not speak gossip-girl
or shallow
or vindictive
or weak-willed.

I have a very hard time speaking in a way which suggests a lack of interest, curiosity or ambition in life, and in that find some of my fellow classmates very difficult to connect with beyond the lightest layers of conversation.

It’s odd, to see what a difference escaping your environment can make. When I look around my classroom, there are those who stand out and those who do not – but alternatively, there are those who speak with maturity and those who do not. Indeed, it must be recognised that this is an environment where being hilarious, liked or admired > being mature or responsible. But even so, looking around and seeing so many small people, some who barely know how to think, barely seem to go beyond the caricatures they have been placed in, making the general remarks expected, trying only as hard as expected, being interested where expected…

I am probably being judgemental in forming these opinions. I barely know the majority of the people who surround me each day at school, not to a depth where I can understand them. But, even so I cannot help wondering, how they will be one day; when life has taken them through more, after they had to harden, be stronger, think with reason and sensibility. I find myself looking forward to seeing them at a reunion in 5-10 years, hearing their stories as they matured and developed and stabilised and struggled and succeeded and settled. Because, despite being in the last years at those school, with those who are soon to be called Adults, I only look around and my mind screams ‘Babies! All of them!’

Am I a baby too? Possibly. Probably. They all will have experienced things I have not, just as I have learnt things they have never had the chance to. But that being said, I can count on one hand the students in my year who I know are like me; those who have learnt to live with the protective wing of their family far away, and they do have a distinct air to those otherwise.

Living alone changes you. Facing the unknown without support hardens you. Growing up will always challenge you, and just because you can legally vote now does not say, in a million years, that you are in any way prepared for what’s coming next. And do you know what? That’s okay! Because we’re all gonna keep adapting too.

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Welcome to the World

Welcome
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to
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our
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wonderful,
ef
beautiful
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world.

Equality

Its a big thing these days. Especially with so many countries making the motion to have rights – ones previously ignored and shunned – made legal, open, okay, free. The world needs to be applauded; so much has been improved in the last 100 years. Slavery, sexism, racism, homophobia…we’re getting there. Slowly, surely, with many fumbles and regressions along the way, but it’s undeniable to even the most obstinate. Look around you! As an australian I can say, at least for us, if not the rest of the world – we’re living in a multi-cultural society now, rich with differences that make us better. It would be unthinkable to discriminate against the jewish family next door, or the chinese lady in the shop. Looking around a regular school classroom, I can count israelis, indians, japanese, eastern-europeans among us – italians, latinos, malaysian, pacific islanders, chinese. There’s barely 7 in a class of 27 that would be considerable in the old stereotype of the light-haired golden generation 50 years ago. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Proto-Aryans 😛

It seems so strange at times, how people can dislike or judge another on factors they cannot control. On their skin or background, sexual orientation or their physical or mental health. And looking at that, we should rejoice! Change cannot be in solely the laws and leglislation – but in the mentality of the people. And it is. Our generation has been brought up with the open-ness of the internet, the mindset of change, of acceptance, of freedom and of course people should be allowed to love who they want, why would anyone want to put down the foreign dude? He’s so cool, he speaks 2 languages! Granted, there will always be arseholes and bigots in the world, but screw them! 😀 We are so much more than that, there are so many more of us than them, and we are winning. Need proof? Look at Glee, on of the the most mainstream and popularly consumed television shows on air. The main reason people dislike it is because of the cliched songs, dances and plotlines. Nobody seems to notice the ethnic differences, the sexual differences, the races and beliefs and cohesion of the entire cast. And to that, we say Bravo!

Bravo world, for leading us to this.

The Problem being Demiromantic

… is that you always fall for people you’re already incredibly close to. Your profound feelings for your best friends lies on the side of a very fine line to your profound romantic feelings for other people. And you don’t fancy people for their looks or preliminary behaviour. You love them for their heart, which makes their face and mannerisms all the more meaningful and wonderful to you. You fall in love with their soul and goddamn that makes things frustrating when you have amazing wonderful close friends who you care about deeply and oh did I mention that I’m bisexual? 😀

I bloody love everyone, but just… figuring out how is the difficult bit here. 😄 Because I care about loads of my friends so much, and I feel for them all right to the core, to the point where I can’t even tell what kind of heart strings are getting tugged. I genuinely love him and her and them as well but *repeated headdesk* is it possible to love someone deeply, platonically and yet find them sexually appealing?

NB: For those who aren’t familiar with that term, demiromanticism is a branch of the romantic orientation side of things. Because sexuality isn’t decided only by what your pants like, but also by what your heart likes. So you can have a heterosexual male who’s aromatic, or a bisexual female (like me) who’s demiromantic, meaning I am more drawn by my emotional connection to people than whats in their pants or personality. Although those do still come into the equation 😛

Minds; Across the Universe

(A/N: Dug this out from an old draft and thought, what the hell, I’ll post it anyways.)

“So. I’m on this bus trip across southern Patagonia with 20 or so people right now, and aside from the spectacular sights and stuff to see and experience (we haven’t gotten to that part yet) its rather interesting. Just because no one aside from the bus driver is over the age of 30, 95% of us being between 15 – 18 and the same percentage having grown up and lived the majority of their lives on other continents. There’s 2 chicks from Canada, some Kiwi’s, 2 Swede’s, some from Switzerland and Finland, and a whole bunch from Deutschland. I am the only Australian – in fact I haven’t met a fellow countryman since I left it in February, which is…an experience. And all this is fascinating from a socialistic viewpoint, in the way we’ve all grown up in completely different worlds. And yet we’re all together, 3 continents, worlds, lives, united on an alien one. (We’re all exchange students, in case you need pieces put together.) For one thing, they say plenty beforehand how many people you’ll meet and bond with, people in another country, but dude, you sorta assume it’s gonna be the locals they’re referring to. 😛 Because you don’t realize until you’re eagerly chatting with other travelers, how easy it is to connect with other people who are doing the exact same thing as you. Who fly, see the world, have adventures like you do, and know in person how truly fantastic it is too.

The socialistic part I mentioned before though, was about how you may be going along a similar journey in life, but all of our paths are so completely different it’s quite fascinating, for me at least, comparing all the differences. You read about these things, get it in theory, but until you really Get Out There, your mind doesn’t realize there are those who live their lives, childhoods in a world with as little as 4,000 people, or as many as 4 million. Farms and mountains and israel and moose & penguins & bears & whales & koalas being commonplace – the bare environment affects a personality more than you’d think. Especially when said environment is completely alien to the environment theyre currently in. For many of us, seeing the wide glittering blue ocean after 4-9 months, living in what is about as hilly and dry and as inland can we get, was quite an emotional experience. This is when we start to really sympathize and understand the lores and poems of our forefathers, when they spoke of their love for their country, the lands and landscape of their home.

But I’ve rambled. What the main idea of this was more about the culture, and how much influence you don’t even realize is there. You don’t see these things when you grow up in the same 100 sq kilometers all your life, everyone has the same influences and life habits. That’s great, but we need a wider scope for comparison. Many of the things that define you, haven’t even been realized consciously. The food, the manners and habits that are polite or expected, the holidays, the languages spoken, the immigration rates, the music and brands common…your family and lifestyle is one of the huge and yes most important but, like I said before, your environment and the world you adapted to has adapted you to fit it, quite subtly and deeply.

My case and point sit in the seats of this double decker bus around me. (To those who are a part of this trip and read this, I honestly don’t mean to offend I’m taking a purely intellectual and detached viewpoint here.) There’s over a dozen of us and it’s funny how patterns follow unconsciously in these social groups.
To start with, clearly those who are of the same country have a bond immediately. Even if it’s as far apart as east and west coast, or even if they’re completely different types of people, there are some things which can only be known or appreciated by those in your home country. And naturally languages too, the german and austrian and swiss have a fantastic time talking in very fast German to each other. [Icht ferurun nicht – I understand nothing] 😛 But it’s more than that, subtler and deeper – beyond countries and languages. Because the Canadian chicks get on great with the Kiwi’s and no matter how much the South African girl had laughs comparing the similarities in languages with the Germans, she and moi the Aussie chatted so much more. There was a Brazilian girl and a girl from New Zealand who became incredibly close friends in a short amount of time. These are entirely different continents, far and away from each other, but something in the similarities draws them together, isn’t that interesting? Because then you get a girl from Montana, USA, who has an entirely different way of being to the girls just kilometers above the border, and then there’s the differences in the French and the Italian and English, the Indian and Chinese and Russian. Haven’t gotten them all in the same room together though… 😛 This is why its extremely difficult bordering-on-illegal to experiment on people, right?

I do hope you’ve seen some patterns in my musings on human nature, to do with how interesting patterns form, how we’re unconsciously drawn to people like ourselves in ways, how even sharing an ocean or common immigration patterns can make another foreigner feel closer to you. Obviously there’s buckloads behind the personality and presentation – a particularly funny guy from Sweden laughs loads with the Canadian-French girl. So it’s a mix really, of minds and worlds and such subtle influences it’s hard to see where patterns end and imagination begins 😛 But searching and trying to figure out why and how and more, oh isn’t it fascinating? Humans never change but, why do we, there’s already so many possibilities and intricacies in the variation we have!

Afterthoughts: University is going to be a killer
😛 I could study this and half a dozen other subjects that are equally as fascinating (anthropology, languages, physics, music, biology, engineering) for the rest of my life in bliss. Hey, this is my blog, I am allowed to express as much lifescience as I like 😛 Sure it could be a type of diary about every day things, but I’ve already got 4 of those that I’ve written in!”

Moment of Loveliness

Sometimes sucky things happen. And sometimes, there are moments that really make you smile. Like today – after losing my $200 calculator a few weeks ago, an office lady at school whom I was talking to offered to lend me a spare she had. For the entire year. So I wouldn’t have to tell my parents and deal with the stress, hassle and expensive mess of the situation.
How can people not be wonderful, when they surprise you with spontaneous acts of kindness like that? 🙂