And so we watch and so we learn/With eyes wide for our dreams to yearn

Posts tagged ‘love’

Wanderlost

It was only a tuesday open mic

When over ciders 

And under stars

I met a girl who knew the words

I meant before I spoke them
It was only just a conversation

I don’t even remember her name but

Her eyes gleamed

And the night spun

In surprise and familiar resonance 
It was only recently I’d returned

From crossing sky to see

Cerros, cities 

Cobble stones and sand

All under & over mountains in the moon
It was only a few minutes

But my ache I saw in her too

The love

That leaves you

In pieces, tucked in each corner of the globe
It was only a tuesday open mic

When under stars

And over ciders 

I realised others love in pieces too

They just get better at living it

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Love’s Labours

Falling in love is like a bicycle
Always so easy to feel the thrill, exhilarated
Rushing down those hills when you start off again
It’s a dream and an idea, a warm jacket that feels like a hug
So easy to put on, wrap around, lose yourself in

It’s never the same, each time,
But there are patterns – the familiar swoop of your internal organs
As they leap to catch your heart
Beating so fast in preparation for takeoff
But they’re always too late – you’ve gone and fallen again…
Whoops

I’ve been falling in love since I was in kindergarten
All I remember then, was of that boy with such a special smile
Now, it’s something so natural I’ve taught myself contingency procedures
Not just in theory, but the patterns and behaviours needed
Just to get off this rollercoaster…relatively unscathed

It’s never easy, though
The universe is still ruled by physics;
Once momentum is achieved, to halt is to…hurt
That’s the beauty of polyamory, demiromance, bisexuality
You can love, healthily love, so many
Balance yourself, tightrope underfoot
Between the spidersilk threads holding you in stead
Crisscrossing your heartstrings, support in case one snaps

That worked, most of the time
Not with you though
You were the warm blanket I always wanted to wrap myself up in
The texture just right, between soft and strong
I was never afraid I’d lose you
It never crossed my mind that we wouldn’t have…something

Funny, how our dancing act goes
Combined, we perform as easy as breathing
Natural and powerful, our pH is perfect
But we’re not the only variables, not really
Although we did a damn good job of pretending, didn’t we?
It got to be that I could rarely sleep without burying myself in the security of your affection

Oh, the illusions we build, art thou marvelous
We danced so perfectly we forgot where we were
Or at least, I did, for some time
Dreams are so easy to fall into
Once I trusted you fully, I didn’t want to stop falling
But, as gravity dictates, we must
It wasn’t flying – there was that thud of reality
That hit, eventually; forcing you to pick yourself up
Jarred, scarred, but not regretful
Never regretful, for having lived, having loved you
Known you, shown you, as you showed me
The stars
Constellations that linked my joy with your smiles, and our kisses…

I guess I can’t wear it as my lullaby each night, now
But your heavy coat of hugs and hope still lies in my closet, you know
Just in case destiny decides, and fate provides
Us with the chance, to try it on again
And maybe this time… it’ll fit just right

Intentions

They say actions speak loudest and words are for naught
When evidence remains cold, but I’ve always thought
Intentions, honest meanings…don’t you see?
We can all have reasons that don’t show plainly

Do what you must, you can say what you will
I trust you – I do! – I know you mean well
How I feel is arbitrary, malleable still
Your intentions are what hold, no matter how the dice fell
Surely it’s rational, to seek perspective and grow?
I think that it’s healing, to try and understand
Where you’re coming from, why you acted so
So I can mould my story like the palm of my hand

That I can curve to yours, a shake or caress
I know you, I trust you, I love you and yes
Sometimes words can hurt, sometimes actions sting
But when intentions are good, how could I ever bring
Myself to feel anything but compassion for you
When I believe what you mean is to be constructive and true

I never see a reason to hate you, begrudge you my pain
Because that I can nullify, and love you all the same
And please forgive me, if these rhymes are too cheesy
It’s late and my head hurts and poetry’s not easy!

Lost & Found

Reaching out to the stars, I am eternally minute
My spirit filling all, the empty ache fully grown
Embracing the universe
Reaching out to my loved ones
Emotional connection without words
Parts of me across the spinning earth, bound by memories, lingering in emotion
Tales told of them and then and what has been – strands of the universe
Spun together, I am the spindle
Tightly wound, insubstantial and strong
Made of all I hold dear, the impressions of scattered stars marked where only I see
Constellations made by my own journey across the universe, invisible to the world
The lives of everything dance in silent symphony
Of stories many will never know

The glimmering of the past flickers across my eyes
Blurring the now with all that was and will be
Destabilizing my presence, I am pulled, a leaf in the storm
Swept up by the winds of time
Screw the orchestra, let me only conduct
To view and witness and carry with fullness
The lives of others, so much greater to feel
Greater to know, such vividness that is to be
Very human, oh so human
Wicked, benign, careless – deep, impromptu, flawed
Take my life, let me only watch!
To grasp the movement outside all keys
Feel the universe in every fibre of my being
Drifting along the strands of time
Finding any and all which glow

The lively life of the living
Has never been so
Alive

The Problem being Demiromantic

… is that you always fall for people you’re already incredibly close to. Your profound feelings for your best friends lies on the side of a very fine line to your profound romantic feelings for other people. And you don’t fancy people for their looks or preliminary behaviour. You love them for their heart, which makes their face and mannerisms all the more meaningful and wonderful to you. You fall in love with their soul and goddamn that makes things frustrating when you have amazing wonderful close friends who you care about deeply and oh did I mention that I’m bisexual? 😀

I bloody love everyone, but just… figuring out how is the difficult bit here. XD Because I care about loads of my friends so much, and I feel for them all right to the core, to the point where I can’t even tell what kind of heart strings are getting tugged. I genuinely love him and her and them as well but *repeated headdesk* is it possible to love someone deeply, platonically and yet find them sexually appealing?

NB: For those who aren’t familiar with that term, demiromanticism is a branch of the romantic orientation side of things. Because sexuality isn’t decided only by what your pants like, but also by what your heart likes. So you can have a heterosexual male who’s aromatic, or a bisexual female (like me) who’s demiromantic, meaning I am more drawn by my emotional connection to people than whats in their pants or personality. Although those do still come into the equation 😛

Luthien and Beren

Luthien and Beren. ~> de Deathen. Shush. Read it.

The Road

Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on,
Under cloud and under star.
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen,
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green,
And trees and hills they long have known.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone.
Let others follow, if they can!
Let them a journey new begin.
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Still ’round the corner there may wait
A new road or secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun

That’s from J. R. R. Tolkien’s immortal books The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings.

Roads go ever ever on

Don’t just read it, say it. Roll the words around your mouth, savor them. Poetry is not meant to sit still on the page, of all forms of writing it is the most like music, and it wants to be read aloud, to come alive. That’s the best way to feel it. So say it now! You don’t need to be a Silvertongue to bring out the heart of a poem, from eye to ear, from ear to soul.